"Marriage Matters" #4 Love is not rude

LOVE
"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:5)

Def- rude: discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way; rough in manners or behaviour; harsh or ungentle.
It seems that rude people are everywhere today: in the workplace, at the grocery store and sometimes they even lurk in our own home! It can be very difficult dealing with a rude person, on a daily basis; especially if you live with them in "close quarters." You can attempt to alter the rude behaviour in a not-so-rude way. Do not react negatively to their rude behaviour. Consider why their acting the way they do. Could it be ignorance!?

Def- ignorance: lack of knowledge, learning, info; they may not know or care to understand their own rude behaviour. You may have to "educate" them on what makes their behaviour rude! Do this gently and in a loving manner. They may be too self-centered to care.

Def- selfishness: devoted to caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare; regardless of others; (only selfish motives)
Self-sacrifice must replace selfishness. Sometimes one person in the marriage can do this reasonably well, but eventually patience runs out. Self-sacrifice is not natural; selfishness is! Selfishness is the enemy of the marriage relationship. The advancing of one's own personal interests opposes the cross of Christ and limits the power of God. Christ Himself did the ultimate act of selfless-ness when He willingly laid down His life for us. Are you unpleasant to live with!?

*Test yourself with these questions:
#1 How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
#2 How does your behaviour affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
#3 Would your spouse say your a blessing, or that your condescending and embarrassing?
If your thinking that your spouse-not you-is the one who needs work in this area, your likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.
Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving? Or rude and unpleasant!

*Dare to be delightful*
#1 Guard & Practice the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. Use (Luke 6:31) as a guide.
#2 Allow NO double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers, coworkers, friends, even other "house mates."
#3 Honor requests. Make every possible attempt to follow through with previous requests. If you forgot or do not know what has been requested; Ask!

**Love Dare**
Let's get Honest! Ask your spouse to tell you at least 3 things this week that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. (try focusing on changing one a day) You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviour. This is from their perspective only. Think about what they point out... what needs your attention. Pray, and take it to God if you feel you can't handle it well, on your own. Create a plan to improve the areas pointed out! If you feel you need additional help or outside guidance seek it.

Seeking-HiM,
JKEST-Vicki

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Pro. 25:24)