"Marriage Matters" Monday #6: Love is not irritable

"He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city." (Proverbs 16:32)

Are you an easily irritated person?!
Def- irritable: easily irritated or annoyed; readily excited to impatience or anger (Testy, Touchy, and it implies cross or snappish behaviour)... I'm sure we have all been there one time or another; some more than others... (females that monthly cycle doesn't excuse us, just maybe hubby can be a little more understanding!?) One reason we may become irritable may be due to stress.

Stress can be brought on due to arguing, division, and bitterness, within our marital relationship or outside relationships. This can be due to fault finding or because someone was easily offended; yourself or others! How should we handle this?... (Col. 3:12-14) says, "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony."
Stress can be brought on by constant worry or excessive anxiety. Combat your worry by turning it into worship; give your worry to the Lord in prayer! Our Heavenly Father says, "Don't worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." (Phil. 4:6-7)... The state of our heart can also determine our irritability... "For whatever is in your heart determines what you say." (Matt. 12:34b)

When you feel "squeezed" by life's pressures do you illicit a "sour" response like a lemon? Or do you handle pressures in a "keen" way like a "sweet" peach? Another reason to handle ourselves in a less irritable way... There is a direct connection between being constantly angry, competitive, and aggressive, and early heart disease... chronically angry, hostile and irritable people have been described as having "Type A" personalities. More laid back people are "Type B." When feeling especially easily provoked I have to think of... (Eph. 4:31) "Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behaviours." Lastly, being easily angered can indicate a sometimes hidden flaw of selfishness. Lust, bitterness, pride and greed are some reasons we can act harshly. Money, is many times a root cause of these "not so good fruits."

(1Tim. 6:9-10) says... "But people who long to be rich fall into temptation and are trapped by many foolish and harmful desires that plunge them into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. And some people, craving money, have wandered from the true faith and pierced themselves with many sorrows."

* This week: let Love Lead you to Forgiveness; instead of Forever holding a grudge. Be Grateful instead of greedy. Be Content rather than consuming. Fill your Heart with Happiness instead of hatred.
Invest in Relationships instead of; Investing in fighting with your Relatives. Prioritize your family; instead of promoting your work or own agenda. Will you choose Love in each decision you make? When you do you will be lowering your stress and releasing the venom that violates us inside. You are then able to set your heart up to respond to your spouse and others with patience and encouragement rather than anger and irritability.

*Love Dare* Choose to react in Love, instead of irritation... no matter what!! How long can you do this?! You may need to make changes or add margin to your schedule to take away possible irritations. List any possible wrong motives that you need to release from your life. Prayerfully give them to the Lord. Try to recall your motives behind overreacting... each time it occurs! Then, decide to react in love, next time.

Lovingly Yours,

JKEST-Vicki

"Fruit Filled" Friday #5: Kindness

Kindness is defined as; the act or state of being kind and marked by charitable behaviour, marked by mild disposition, pleasantness, tenderness and concern for others.

What is considered "an act of kindness?" Anything that's done for others (human or animal) without expecting to get anything in return. Even if the end result is mixed with feelings of anger or hatred from the "other" party. The "act" itself may be a "simple smile hello!"... on a grander scale it may mean giving up life as you've known it. This occurs when you allow "others" to live in your home. No matter the situation, we are all called to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." This is known as the golden rule! But, notice the word kindness is never mentioned... kindness is suppose to be known; expected.

We are called to love and be kind to ALL... (Luke 6:35) says; "But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back." Constant kindness can accomplish much; As the sun causes ice to melt, Kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.
Kindness calls for forgiveness... (Eph. 4:32) states; "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you." Forgiveness is the ultimate "act of kindness" that you give first to yourself, then to another person.

Kindness is gentle... "A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare" (Pro. 15:1) Before you respond in anger... take a moment to respond in kindness with a gentle soft word.
(Romans 12:9-10) says; "Don't just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, (with brotherly love) and take delight in honoring each other." Emphasis of hate is on the "what" not the "Who"... no matter the wrong! Let us all be given the opportunity to learn from our mistakes.
The ultimate benefit of kindness is love... as it relates to one and all; refer to 1 Cor. 13:4-7.

Kindly Yours,
JKEST-Vicki

"Marriage Matters" #4 Love is not rude

LOVE
"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor. 13:5)

Def- rude: discourteous or impolite, esp. in a deliberate way; rough in manners or behaviour; harsh or ungentle.
It seems that rude people are everywhere today: in the workplace, at the grocery store and sometimes they even lurk in our own home! It can be very difficult dealing with a rude person, on a daily basis; especially if you live with them in "close quarters." You can attempt to alter the rude behaviour in a not-so-rude way. Do not react negatively to their rude behaviour. Consider why their acting the way they do. Could it be ignorance!?

Def- ignorance: lack of knowledge, learning, info; they may not know or care to understand their own rude behaviour. You may have to "educate" them on what makes their behaviour rude! Do this gently and in a loving manner. They may be too self-centered to care.

Def- selfishness: devoted to caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare; regardless of others; (only selfish motives)
Self-sacrifice must replace selfishness. Sometimes one person in the marriage can do this reasonably well, but eventually patience runs out. Self-sacrifice is not natural; selfishness is! Selfishness is the enemy of the marriage relationship. The advancing of one's own personal interests opposes the cross of Christ and limits the power of God. Christ Himself did the ultimate act of selfless-ness when He willingly laid down His life for us. Are you unpleasant to live with!?

*Test yourself with these questions:
#1 How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?
#2 How does your behaviour affect your mate's sense of worth and self-esteem?
#3 Would your spouse say your a blessing, or that your condescending and embarrassing?
If your thinking that your spouse-not you-is the one who needs work in this area, your likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness. Remember, love is not rude but lifts you to a higher standard.
Do you wish your spouse would quit doing the things that bother you? Then it's time to stop doing the things that bother them. Will you be thoughtful and loving? Or rude and unpleasant!

*Dare to be delightful*
#1 Guard & Practice the Golden Rule. Treat your mate the same way you want to be treated. Use (Luke 6:31) as a guide.
#2 Allow NO double standards. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers, coworkers, friends, even other "house mates."
#3 Honor requests. Make every possible attempt to follow through with previous requests. If you forgot or do not know what has been requested; Ask!

**Love Dare**
Let's get Honest! Ask your spouse to tell you at least 3 things this week that cause them to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. (try focusing on changing one a day) You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behaviour. This is from their perspective only. Think about what they point out... what needs your attention. Pray, and take it to God if you feel you can't handle it well, on your own. Create a plan to improve the areas pointed out! If you feel you need additional help or outside guidance seek it.

Seeking-HiM,
JKEST-Vicki

"Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife." (Pro. 25:24)

"Fruitfilled Friday" #4 Patience

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience... (Gal. 5:22)
"We who are strong ought to bear (patiently) with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves." (Romans 15:1)

Def. Patience: the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation or the like; an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay.
Opposite of Anger; closely associated with mercy
In our impatient, self-centered world, one quality of character has all but perished:longsuffering. Similiar to patience... It is not difficult to trace the source of biblical patience in God's children. 1 Cor. 13:4 states, "Love suffers long and is kind." Patience is directly associated with love and hope. A person who is longsuffering is not quick to retaliate or promptly punish someone who has insulted, offended, or harmed him.
Patience is a major characteristic of our God, longsuffering is one of 11 attributes of God; see (Ex. 34:6) Knowing this full well, should fill us with gratitude!
God relents from doing harm. His longsuffering is seen in His gracious restraint of His wrath towards those who deserve it. Despite the rebellious condition of the world, He waited patiently for 120 years while Noah built the ark and gathered the animals. see (Joel 2:13) read Noah's story beg. (GEN. ch.6)
God's patience delays His wrath, allowing time for good to occur. In combination with patience, the qualities of grace, mercy, lovingkindness, goodness, and truth allow God to work with people so they can remain alive and eventually transform into His image. If God struck out at people just as short-fused humans frequently do, no one would be alive today. Jonah, in a typically human reaction, wanted God to wipe the sinners of Ninevah, Israel's enemy, off the face of the earth! The entire book of Jonah; just 4 short ch. is full of God showing His patience!
"The Lord isn't really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent." (2 Peter 3:9 NLT) Christ's patient and enduring handling of sinners demonstrates His longsuffering. God promises that He will be long-tempered with us as we repent and dedicate ourselves to the obedience and service of God. As in everything else, Jesus Christ sets the standard of longsuffering.
*Bearing with others who are working out their salvation. Being slow to anger.*

"By standing firm (patiently) you will gain life." (Luke 21:19)

Patiently HIS!!
JKEST-Vicki

"Jesus Weigh" Wed. #4 Rainbow Way!

... and yet He did not leave Himself without witness, in that He did good and gave you rains from heaven and fruitful seasons, satisfying your heart with food and gladness. (Acts 14:17)

Subject of the day: beta-Carotene: is an organic compound and classified as a terpenoid. It is a strongly-colored red-Orange pigment abundant in plants & fruits. It is a form of Vitamin A.

U.S.D.A. lists top #5 sources of beta-Carotene as:
1. Carrot juice; many recipes on net, haven't tried any our self! V-8 Splash is pretty good though!
2. Pumpkin, canned; pie, bread,seeds; eat all in moderation!
3. Sweet potatoes, Baked
4. Spinach, frozen, cooked; we like adding it to lasagna, in with the ricotta; may be made vegetarian, or with meat! YuM!! I also make an Asparagus casserole with spinach added! Ask & the recipes shall be given to you! :) Don't want to waste valuable time; if nobody's interested!
5. Last, but not least, good ole fashion Carrots, cooked! Listen to your Mom's and eat your veggies! lol
Fruits include: Mangoes & Papaya
Hopefully, you will be able to add a few of these ideas to your diet plan.

Losing-IT-HIS WaY,
JKEST!!!!!

"Two Thoughts" Tuesday:#4 {Help vs. Hope}

Help says- I am in trouble; Hope says- I am "A very present help." (Psalm 46:1)

Help says- I am grieved; Hope says- I give relief from your grief... "This is my comfort in my affliction, For your word has given me life." (Psalm 71:21) Turn to "The Shepherd!" "Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

Help says- I have sinned; Hope says- "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23) Lay your burdens down... "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." (Matt. 11:30)

Help says I am guilty, "For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet stumble in one point, he is guilty of all." (James 2:10) Hope gives- Grace, and lets you start over, again... "being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:24)

Help says- I am weak; Hope says- I am your strength... "Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities,in reproaches, in needs, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." (2 Cor. 12:10)... Lean on Him! "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding." (Prov. 3:5)

Help says- I am sick; Hope says- have Faith, "And the prayer of faith will save the sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven." (James 5:15) Hope revives! "I am afflicted very much, Revive me, O Lord, according to your word." (Psalm 119:107)

Help says- I am poor; Hope says- "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." (Luke 12:15) also states; And He said to them, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."
As the economy plummets; Help says, "What purpose does this serve? It says, "I can't help you- this time!" Hope says- the purpose is to relocate the roots of your; Joy in His Grace rather than in your "goods"... in His Mercy rather than in your money... in His worth rather than your wealth.

Our God of "Hope" also wants us to know... Nothing is impossible with Him. (Luke 1:37) That He who owns "the cattle on a thousand hills" (Ps. 50:10) is not limited by the economy. Don't put your Hopes on worldly prosperity, but on the One who owns it all. When all you have is Him, He is all you need! :)

Hoping-N-HIM,
JKEST - Vicki!!!!!

"Marriage Matters" Monday: Love is Thoughtfully, Helpful!

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me... How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand." (Psalm 139:17-18).... WoW!!! Did you know this is how much God thinks of us!! Imagine how much we could change our "world"... if only we all thought of each other a fraction of what God thinks of His children!

I want to focus on the word Helpful: The 1st part Help; is defined as- to give or provide what is necessary to accomplish a task or satisfy a need, contribute strength or means to; render Assistance to; cooperate effectively with... so much for a small word! No matter how "little" we help, it is Great in God's eyes. Synonyms for Help: encourage, befriend; support, uphold...
Antonyms: hinder, afflict, hindrance... Do you find yourself more on the "same" team with your mate; or the "opposite" side!?
I came up with an acronym for HELP:
Humbly
Enjoy
Laboring
Purposely
I think of this as a generic "Help"... to help all of man-kind, you help people as a "job."
It was God Himself who created and said, "It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him." (Genesis 2:18)
Atlas, men and women were not created equally by God. He had a plan and a purpose for this. Take procreation for example... clearly our roles are defined; you end up with a child that has both your DNA... but their still their own person! What an example of the 3-1! God perfectly and clearly defined our roles... He Himself knew before you were formed what your "role" would be. He knew too, you would need a "helper" suitable just for You!! What a Thoughtful, Helpful God have We!!!
This brings me to the "ful" part... the Def- of Helpful: aid; assist, be useful, to serve;
Synonyms: useful, convenient
Antonyms: useless, inconvenient... again I ask are you useful and convenient toward your mate... or the opposite!? Now to finish the acronym:
For
Unconditional
Love
The "ful" in helpful should be directed toward our Beloved mates; first and foremost, always!

*Bonus* Find a family project needing attention and work on it together. Do whatever you can to operate as a "team" from beginning to completion. Purpose to encourage each other along the way!
"Love Dare:" Start a "new" daily habit of asking your spouse "How they are doing;" and if there is anything you could do for them. If your spouse works "outside" the home call them at work; if possible! Make this a more natural,routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle.

Helpfully Yours,
JKEST-Vicki!!!!!

"Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor." Ecclesiastes 4:9