"Marriage Matters" #10: Love is Unconditional

"God demonstrates HiS own love towards us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)

If you were asked, "Why do you love your husband or wife?"-what would you say? Many men would probably mention their wife's beauty, her understanding, compassion, kindness. They might talk about her cooking, her sense of style or creativeness, or what a good mother she is. Many women would probably mention their husband's good looks or his charming personality. They'd say how faithful he is. How consistent and honest he is. They'd say they love him because he's always there for them, he's generous and helpful.
What happens then after the years go by and they stop being these things? Do you still love them? Logic would say no... unconditional love says Yes! Love can last a life-time only if it's unconditional! This type of love is called Agape love!

Agape love is always unconditionally giving and impossible to take or be a taker. It devotes total commitment to seek your highest best no matter how someone may respond. This form of love is totally selfless and does not change whether the love given is returned or not.
(Christian theology) states it is the love of God or Christ for mankind- Classical Greek; also Charity.
It is one of the 3 basic virtues, along with Faith and Hope. Saint Paul called it the greatest of these. The Bible says, "This is real love- not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent HiS Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins." (1 John 4:10) The essence of Agape love is self-sacrifice. It's Supernatural God anointed love! "We love, because He first loved us." (1 John 4:19)
Agape love is the true opposite of sin. In a world of self indulgence and greed, a Christian that lives the life of Love is a real true contrast. The three other forms of love are Eros, Philia, and Storge.

Eros: is an "erotic feeling" self-beneficial... what they can do for you. Eros is passionate love, with sensual desire and longing; intimate but does not have to be sexual in nature. More than friendship. Dating as well as marriage. Appreciation of their natural beauty that comes from within. Naturally Platonic means simply- "without physical attraction." So relationships built on initial physical attraction would not have this level of love. Unless you allow God to grow HiS love within you; you will struggle and possibly fail in your marriage and other relationships. Love that "bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things" (1 Cor. 13:7) does not come from within. It can only come from HiM!

Philia: means Friendship in modern Greek. It is a dispassionate virtuous love, concept developed by Aristotle. It includes loyalty to friends, family, and community and requires virtue, equality, and familiarity. (Prov. 17:17) states "A Friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." It stems from a desire or enjoyment of an activity, as well as between lovers.

Storge: means "affection" in ancient and modern Greek. It is a natural affection, like that felt by parents for offspring. Exclusively used to describe relationships within the family. It is also known for expressing mere acceptance or putting up with situations, as in "loving" the tyrant. Loving the "unlovable." The Scriptures say that "neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:38-39) God Loves us that much!

Thankfully God allows us the choice to choose HiS kind of love. But you must first receive it; before you can share it! What kind of love is your relationship with your mate based on? Is it the same foundation you based it on when you first got together? If it's not currently based on the foundation of Agape Love, it's not too late! Take the steps you need to in order to make your marriage relationship "Rock Solid!" Then instead of saying "I love you because..." You will firmly and passionately be able to say, "I LOVE YOU, PERIOD!"

***Love Dare*** Do something for your spouse that you never or rarely do. Something that you must freely choose to do. Choosing to do this on your own, will help prove your love is based on your choice and nothing else. Wash the car. Clean the kitchen. Buy or make their fave dessert. Fold the laundry. Whatever it takes to show the sheer joy you have for them because they are your partner in marriage-for a Lifetime! Continue showing the Love even if it's not returned!

Love,
JKEST-Vicki

"He who trusts in the Lord, lovingkindness shall surround him." (Psalm 32:10)

"Marriage Matters" Mon. #9 {Love makes good impressions} (Greetings)

"Greet one another with a kiss of love." (1 Peter 5:14)

We've all been there, I'm sure... Someone says "Hi! and your name... you know you know them but either completely forgot there name or falsely recognize them (momentarily)... do you just say Hi! back and smile or do you guess?! Maybe have them "help" you out... is it...?! And "Hope" your right?! At least you shouldn't forget, again! Scenario #2... Again you see someone you recognize... a ways in front of you. There smiling and waving... at YOU! So, you smile and wave back... hopefully you didn't say Hi!... cause as it turns out they were waving at "their" Friend who happened to be; Right behind YOU! It's probably happened to the Best of us!

How do you "greet" your spouse or (Other) loved ones?! Do we falsely believe they don't need to be "Greeted" properly? What happens when we have "wronged" them... do we walk around with our tail between our legs? We may feel we don't "deserve" to receive a simple kiss... this can only cause tension in our marriage. We need to come to our senses as quickly as possible... for restoration to begin. Let's see what the Bible has to say...

I will paraphrase "The Parable of the Lost Son" (Luke 15:11-32)
... after wasting away his inheritance... he came to his senses, and decided to go home to his father. He had even planned what to say'... & Please take me on as a hired servant.'
So he returned home to his father. And while he was a still along way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.'
His father sent servants to bring the finest robe, ring, and sandals for him. Never mentioning the son's desire to become a hired servant. The fatted calf was prepared- a celebration feast for the son who was dead and has now returned to life. He, was lost, but now he is found. So the party began.
The Other son was angry... His father said to him, 'Look dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours.' We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life. He was lost but now is found.
Our Heavenly Father wants to do the same thing for us if we let him. Keep this in mind as an example as to how we are to treat & Greet our mates and Loved ones... no matter what! Sometimes we may feel slighted, they barely deserve a Hi! today... look to Jesus... my Friend look to HiM!

Make each Greeting count! Make your Beloved see, feel and hear the Love, Peace and Joy you have for them.Think of the different opportunities we have to greet each other daily. Upon awakening, before leaving for work etc, and coming home. Meeting for lunch etc. Saying good-nite & talking on the phone. Try to convey warmth and enthusiasm to your mate. Find new and exciting ways to subtly touch the heart of your mate through spoken or unspoken interaction. Make every attempt at making your Beloved feel valued, loved, and appreciated. Especially when your not getting along so well; you may just be able to lessen some of the tension. Remember, love is a choice. So, choose to choose a greeting that reflects your love for them! That's your "Love Dare" for this Blog...:)

"And that's about it, friends, Be cheerful. Keep things in good repair. Keep your Spirits up. Think in harmony. Be agreeable. Do all that, and the God of love and peace will be with you for sure. Greet one another with a holy embrace. All the brothers and sisters here say hello." (2 Corinthians 3:11) {The Message Bible}

Joyfully Yours,
JKEST-Vicki
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*JKEST From:The Heart Special* (in place of Marriage Matters)

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

*Who Are You!?*
You can not know Where your going til you know Who you are. If you don't know How you got there you can not know What you'll become... When He calls you to become the person you were meant to be. God Created You for HiS Purpose-on Purpose!!!

"Seasons"
Jesus leads me on the narrow way; without HiM I should fall. Thank you Jesus for picking me back up and putting me on the path. When I stray you come to my rescue. You pay the bill in full for me; you are my free ride home.
You are my Rock and my Refuge. When I stand in your shadow you shield me. You are my SoN and my shield. You warm me and protect me. "The LORD is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation my stronghold." (Psalm 18:2)

You are the tree of life. I am firmly rooted and grounded in you. Your leaves change with the season... just as you give friendships which come and go... some stay in our hearts and remain. Others show up in another time and season. You allow this to grow us stronger in you... you love us so much! We change, you remain the same. You are that tree standing tall firmly rooted and grounded. The more we cling to you the stronger we are. You know and see how strong and how long our roots are; which are connected to you. Your Word is the rich soil which feeds and nourishes the soul. We take in and drink of your Living water... and never thirst again. You quench me with your love Oh Lord. You are as gentle as the still waters of the streams. "Anyone who believes in me may come and drink! For the Scriptures declare, 'Rivers of living water will flow from his heart.'" (John 7:38)

I cling to your robe. Lord you are Higher, you are more mighty than any mountain. You made the mountains, the Rocks, the seas. Man has never made or ever will create anything as lovely as worthy as thee. You are my strong tower... My power. You are so mighty... mighty to save; even when they resist.
Lord give me Rest. Give me Peace. Be my Rest- Be my Piece... The missing Peace. Fill the empty Pieces of my life... however you see fit. Help me not to fear the falling, changing leaves of this season you've put me in! PTL!!!

*** Hope you Enjoy this song By: my Fav. singer***
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jg2jio6cVxo

Changing 4-HiM!!!
JKEST-Vicki

"Fruit Filled Fri." #9: Self-Control

"to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness" (2 Peter 1:6)

Def- Self-Control: control of one's emotions, desires, or actions by one's own will.

To stand any chance of gaining self-control we need to be completely clear about Why we Want to change. What is embarrassing, upsetting or irritating for me or for the important "Others;" God has placed in our life?! HE gives us "Our Own Free Choice or Will"... We need to be especially on guard at the times when we are most at risk of relapsing into our old habits and ways! The best defense is to memorize (John 10:10) "The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly."
*You must admit you have self-control before you can use it.* (Carrie Latet)
*What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.* (Franklin P. Jones) "And Jesus answered and said to him, "Get behind Me, Satan! For it is written, 'You shall worship the LORD your God and Him only you shall serve.'" (Luke 4:8)

A lot of kids tend to be unruly nowadays! And out of control children normally lead parents to feel and become out of control themselves, too! Eventually, everyone ends up being uncontrollable all together. Atlas, it is your Job as the parent (adult) to remain in control... no matter what! How can one train a child to exercise such self-control? This is done by developing something on the inside that becomes more attractive than that which is on the outside. Then more pleasure is gotten inwardly by resistance than outwardly by yielding. (Pastor Jack Hyles)
"Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it." (Proverbs 22:6)

Praying We All Learn God-Control,
JKEST-Vicki

*** "Do you want to be made well?" *** (John 5:6)

"I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life." (John 8:12)

Gentle "Keeper"
The Lord is such a "Gentleman"... He slowly; gently lifts us from our "sleep." For many He knows time is of the essence. Some are in a dream state. Others have yet to forget their nightmare left behind; there in that dark hell. The Lord well knows their pain and shame hidden deep down in that pitted well. The Lord is gentle... He is kind and will allow them more time. For He is the Keeper! He holds Time in HiS Great & Gentle Hands!! He holds each tear... knows when it falls and He always Hears us when (WE) His Dear Child calls out from our "sleep!"

"He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love."
***Enjoy this "Mighty" message courtesy of Hillsong
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-08YZF87OBQ

Rescued-2-Save
JKEST-Vicki

"Marriage Matters" Monday #8: Love is not Jealous

"Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15)

Jealousy such a controversial word. The world may say, "Your just jealous of me!" Why are we not appalled! It seems to be an accepted phrase in society. Why is it OK to "try and make" someone jealous!? I believe this may be the rift cause of ruin in many marriages and other relationships. The Bible is clear on it's stance of jealousy.

Jealousy is a driving force; an intense emotion. It derives from the root word for zeal; it means "to burn with an intense fire." (Prov. 27:4) states "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, but who can stand before jealousy."

There are actually 2 very different forms of jealousy: Legitimate jealousy is based upon Love. Illegitimate jealousy is based on envy. If you love someone you want what's best for them. It is never appropriate to purposely cause another person to feel jealous. Keep this in mind... open communication is key!

With the new era of many electronic forms of communication there are many ways too create jealousy. Determine if whoever you communicate with is helping your relationship or driving a wedge!?
It is essential you both have positive outlets; but keep balance and communicate openly with each other. If one of you feels jealousy for any reason, it is important to discuss why your feeling how you do right away. If not these "feelings" can soon turn toxic to yourself and your relationship.

Do you appreciate and enjoy the "successes" of your spouse!? Do you bask in the "glow" or cast a "shadow" over them? Do you have feelings of being "unsuccessful" right now? If so where are those feelings coming from? It could be a "form" of jealousy. You may feel others have a "better" job or "house"; or that their kids behave far more better than yours. That is what happens when were not content with what we have. The envy monster has been allowed to creep in; and you never even realized it! So when is jealousy an OK feeling to have...

The Bible clearly tells us "the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God" (Deuteronomy 4:24) He is not jealous "of us"... as in envy. He has no reason to want what we have, since He owns it all including... "the cattle on a thousand hills" (Psalm 50:10) It's just that He deeply "longs" for us, He wants us to keep him #1 in our life as our 1st love. He doesn't want us to let anything into our hearts such as (jealous envy) to corrupt us. He doesn't want us to worship any other "gods"... meaning people, things, thoughts. Anything that consumes us, takes our time and attention away from HiM! He wants us to have a healthy relationship with our spouse.

Let love, humility and gratefulness destroy any envious jealous feelings in your heart. Praise your mates successes; allowing them to draw you nearer to each other. Become your spouse's #1 Biggest Fan! Reject any thoughts of jealousy. Begin to turn your heart toward your spouse. Focus on them and their achievements.

*** Love Dare*** If you did previous Dare #7 you will have 2 lists of positive and negative attributes of your mate. Now is the time to destroy the negative list... Burn it or ? Whatever way you can to completely destroy it. Then share how glad you are about a recent success or positive attribute about your mate.
*Encourage your mate to go forward toward future successes. No success is too small when achieved for HiS Kingdom!!!

"Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire." (Song of Solomon 8:6)

For HiS Kingdom,
JKEST-Vicki

Fruit-filled Fri. #8: Gentleness (Gal. 5:23)

"And be kind to one another, tenderhearted {compassionate; gentle} forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you." (Ephesians 4:32)

Def. gentleness- kindly, not severe, rough or violent; mild
Synonyms: peaceful: soothing; tender, humane, lenient, merciful. Gentle,meek, mild... refer to an absence of bad temper or belligerence.
Gentle has reference esp. to disposition and behaviour, and often suggests a deliberate or voluntary kindness or forbearance in dealing with others.
Meek implies a submissive spirit, and may even indicate undue submission in the face of insult or injustice.
Mild suggests absence of harshness or severity, rather because of natural character or temperament than conscious choice.
Antonyms: harsh, cruel; violent, sudden; wild, unruly

Being gentle is part of God's character and this virtue is highly treasured by God; as (1 Peter 3:4) states "the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit... is of great worth and so precious in God's sight." Jesus is the epitome of gentleness!

Gens- (beginning of gentle) means belonging together by birth
Other words that begin with Gen. happen to be... Genesis- book of beginnings, generations, genealogy; think of good birth or family; respectable; also genetic and genes. All meaning root or beginning of. Essentially, we can all lay claim to be from the same "genetic" background; if you claim God as your gentle Father! Gentlemen and Gentlewomen reflect their Godly source. May it be true of us all. May we be as sweet as the water of the well from which we spring.

Nothing is so strong as gentleness, Nothing so gentle as strength... under control! If you could put it in a bottle and sell it you'd make a fortune. Gentleness is a virtue, a gift we give to each other. How then are we to live (2 Timothy 2:24) states "A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone; be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people."

Jesus himself lays out a perfect example of gentleness in (John 8:1-11) I encourage you to read it for yourself! I will simply summarize. A Woman caught in Adultery... the law stated she be stoned; really she was used as a trap for Jesus... Jesus was gentleness to a T... while ignoring accusers he wrote in the dust with his finger. When he finally spoke... "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone." (conviction took over) as they left one by one. Jesus was left standing with the woman. "Where are your accusers? Didn't even one of them condemn you?" "Neither do I. Go and sin no more." We are called to be "Jesus like." We are to deal with our accusers and sinners... in the same way!

"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near; {and coming soon"} (Philippians 4:5)

JKEST Blessings,
Vicki